Every Thursday night, I almost always watch The Office. It is almost a necessity- on most Fridays, my co-workers and I discuss the previous night’s episode. AT the Office. Har har. Although this season has been kind of a bore, I thought Michael Scott would be the perfect model for a gift guide. Everyone has a friend who is (occasionally) immature, to the level of lameness. Here is a collection of oddities that might please your immature friend. FYI- I am currently quite embarrassed by my Firefox browser history. THE THINGS I DO FOR YOU, MY FRIENDS.
1. Baby Catapult. Perfect for Tobey attacks. Catapults from Fred Flare, $10
2. In Michael Scott’s mind, the only way to keep Stanley away from Utica involves mustache disguises. Self-adhesive Mustaches from Fred Flare, $10
3. My favorite Michael Scott + alcohol moment is when Michael parties with Ryan in NYC. “Ryan told me to always tell women you work in finance.” The Beer Belt from UO, $18
4. COCK MAGNETS. Big Cocks Magnet Set from Perpetual Kid, $11.99
5. According to the vendor of this boob pan, you can also use this pan to make boob jello. I only hope the boobs are large enough to encase a mini stapler. Boob Cake Pan from bachelorette, $11.99
6. In season two, Michael discovers a mysterious piece of poop in his office. This calendar is filled with turds. Literally. A turd a month. Monthly Doos 2009 Calendar from Perpetual Kid, $12.99
7. Without liquor, these shot glasses are simply tiny miniature glasses (a description one of my camp kids once used). Fill it with a little jose cuervo ESPECIAL, and naughty pictures appear. Peepshow Shot Glasses from Perpetual Kid, $19.99
8. This is, hands down, the lamest towel I have ever seen. I think Michael Scott would get a giggle out of this towel. Furthermore, the couple’s faces are just too goofy. Butt Face Towel from Prank Place, $14.89
9. “Dickweed” is such a silly word. Slang Pint Glasses from UO, $8
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11 Responses for "Gift Guide: For the one who has the maturity level of Michael Scott"
I am newly obsessed with The Office, so I think this is hysterical! God, if I still had a job I’d be flinging babies at people all day.
Hahaha. I have bad aim, so I don’t think I would be able to use the baby catapult.
I know who could use the wine belt, and that face/butt towel is genius. Sometimes you forget!
and by wine i obviously mean beer.
it is amazing how you make all those gifts seem classy!
The Face-Butt towel is my favorite. I often wonder about this matter. Cleanliness? Eek.
Wine bottle belt! I think that would be a recipe for disaster! Or, for someone who *really* wanted to relive their college days. And I suppose the face-butt towel IS kind of useful- so you never forget!
You don’t know how upset I was when I sent to the Big Cock Magnet site only to see they’re sold out :-(
Should I be slightly saddened that my boyfriend has purchased/worn #2? Before they were made necessary by The Office?
Answer: Yes.
Also I enjoy the catapult.
ah hahaha you must have a delightful boyfriend, jes
matthew: you don’t need to own such vulgar merchandise!
matthew- i would not be surprised if they were restocked at Perpetual Kid. However, after some quick googling: http://www.fridgedoor.com/5bigcomaset.html
Enjoy, kid.
Jes- I can picture you catapulting babies ALL day.
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