I Support Passive Aggressive Violence Ex Voodoo Knife Knock Knock Humble Opinion Journal Paper Voodoo Fred Murder Ink Sticky Note Blood Bath Mat

My freshman year of college, I received the nickname “Gogo.”  No, not a reference to the perfect-hair chanteuses who brag about having beats.  My model: Gogo Yubari…the Kill Bill schoolgirl with unbridled rage (and a meteor hammer).  I was far from a killer, just an occasional swatter when someone (a victim) would unexpectedly tap my shoulder.  Or hug me.

I am now more conservative with my swats, but violence still innocently reverberates throughout my body.   Harmless karma itchings.  For example, let’s say that you’re on the subway, a stranger throws a laundry basket at you, and they LAUGH.  (True story.)  For me, moments like these demand a little cathartic relief.  Maybe a wee wish that the perpetrator trips.  A little.   As a supporter of such passive aggressive violence (not physical violence! PEACE FLAGS/SIGNS/DOVES), here is list of items that I believe secretly violent people will enjoy.  The following is dedicated to all the males & females that have angered me this past week.

1. Uncanny resemblance to your ex-boyfriend, right?  Best of all, it’s NECESSARY to stab and store your knives.  Leaving them on the counter would be bad knife etiquette.  Ex Voodoo Knife Holder from Perpetual Kid, $70

2. “Yes, you treated me so wretchedly that you deserve to be slammed in between Twilight.”  Dead Mark Bookmark from Perpetual Kid, $12

3. An apotheosis of journals, this is perfect to write about all the vexing characters in your life.  The inside even has quotes to fuel your anger!  (See below) In My Humble Opinion Journal from Knock Knock, $17

KK_IMHO_Spread

4. Pad of voodoo dolls = 60 opportunities to curse.  Paper Voodoo Pad from Knock Knock, $7.50 (Note: Remember when Maria interviewed Jen Bilik, founder and creator of Knock Knock?)

5. “Dear Roommate, please discard your putrid veal from the fridge or you will end up like this poor sticky man. xoxo.” Murder Ink Sticky Note Pad from Pure Modern, $10 (pre-order now!)

6.  Have you ever imagined sneaking into your ex-special friend’s bathroom, replacing his/her bathroom mat with a more sanguineous version, thus provoking him/her to run away from his/her bathroom in terror, dropping his/her towel outside in the deemed “safe haven,” and crying? Revenge, my friend.  Blood Bath Mat from Perpetual Kid, $18

Do you like Knock Knock’s In My Humble Opinion journal as much as Maria and me?  Thanks to Knock Knock, you have a lovely opportunity to win your very own journal!  To win, leave a comment (a brief vent about someone who angered you this week? or a “hi tricia?!”…I HAVE PRESENTED YOU WITH TWO IDEAS) below by Sunday, November 8th!  We will select the winner by a random number generator, and announce the winner on Monday, November 9th!

    Other Posts You Might Like:
  1. Amirah’s Wishlist

Related posts brought to you by Yet Another Related Posts Plugin.