Although he may be ranked sixth after Tuesday’s Olympics men’s short, Johnny Weir is easily the most entertaining competitor in men’s skating.  For those of you unfamiliar with him, Johnny is like the product of what would happen if Lady Gaga and Patrick Wolf had a baby that flew out of the womb with ice skates.  If my visual is unsatisfactory, please watch the video of his short here.  Yes, those are pink tassels.

In honor of this innovative luminary with unbridled creativity and glitter (literally), I decided to cover quintessential components to the perfect Johnny Weir Party.  My actions are extremely timely, as the MEN’S FREE SKATE IS TONIGHT.  I highly encourage you to watch and throw your own little Johnny Weir party.  Although the possibility that he will medal is slim, at least you will have a fine time celebrating Johnny Weir.

SURROUNDINGS

1. Has your rug been on the road to death?  Have you always dreamed about getting a hot pink rug?  Well, my friend, this is a splendid time to get a pink rug.  FACT: Johnny brought pink bath mats with him to Vancouver.  Mohawk Home Shag Run in Racy Pink from Target, $100


picture from icenetwork.com

2. As I hinted moments ago, Johnny Weir is like a skating version of Lady Gaga.  It is, therefore, not surprising that Johnny is a HUGE Lady Gaga fan.  His love for Lady Gaga extends to the ice rink, as demonstrated in a recent performance to “Poker Face.”

FACT: Johnny brought also brought a poster of Lady Gaga to Vancouver so she could “watch over us.”  Lady Gaga poster from Movie Poster USA, $7

ATTIRE

1. FACT: Johnny likes to wear shiny things.  THIS IS ONE OF THE FEW MOMENTS IN YOUR LIFE WHERE IT IS APPROPRIATE TO WEAR AN AMERICAN APPAREL METALLIC BODYSUIT (with an even more inappropriate zipper!) NECESSARY ADDENDUM: Johnny also designs his own sparkly onesies, so you should take the creative liberty to further sparkle up your metallic bodysuit.  Shiny Zipper-Front Bodysuit in Champagne from American Apparel, $45

World Championships 2006 from Johnny Weir Online

2. Shiny star leggings  to avoid an inappropriate crotch reveal if your quadruple lutz living room impersonations go sour.  Printed Shiny Leggings from American Apparel, $46

3. FACT: Johnny has been criticized for wearing fur.  Silver Indigo Fox All Fur Pill Box Hat from Fur Hat World, $250

picture from delawareonline.com

4.  Face and body glitter!  Make Up Forever Glitters from Sephora, $13

5. Even more glitter! Urban Decay Heavy Metal Glitter Liner from Sephora, $18

CONSUMABLES

1. For Johnny’s short, he wore pink tassels.  Obtain some pink tassels and tie them to martini glasses, only to be filled with…

2. …lemon drop cocktails!  This drink is a lemony ode to Johnny’s calming techniques.  I cannot take credit for this brilliant idea is from my friend Tiffany, who is obsessed with skating and the Olympics  (mutual passions?, read her blog!).  We actually ran to Barcelona Bar so she could catch the end of the Pairs skating Monday.  Anyways, she sent me this Johnny Weir quote yesterday:

I was nervous last night. So I Pledged everything in my room.  Some people eat, some people drink — but I Pledge everything.

3.  Sober Sally? Johnny loves Vitamin Water.  Shots of Vitamin Water it is!

4. Apparently Johnny barely eats (which is troublesome for a Johnny Weir party), but once a year he will eat angel food cake with strawberries and whipped cream.

Does anyone else harbor a desire to throw a Johnny Weir party?  Am I the only one?

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