Last week I began my “Unemployment Project of the Week” post series with a showcase of my great ability to make portraits of portraits. And, though no one emailed me their beautiful renditions of, say, Shakespeare (since we now have a real portrait of him, by the way), I am sure you all got right down to the “job” (let’s call it a “job” to make ourselves feel better) and are ready for a new challenge.

So, next up: Make Something Useful and Fashionable from Scraps (if it wasn’t clear, scraps = whatever you don’t need and will never use). This will force you to use your: (1) creative facilities, (2) time, (3) shit lying around. Perfect.

The sub-title to this project could be: Make a Dashing Loop Necklace from Old T-shirts. But if you don’t have old T-shirts lying around, don’t go out and buy them! Invent your own project! This is essential. We’re saving money here. We’re unemployed.

The most exciting part of my example is that despite my non-access to a sewing machine (and my limited patience) I was able to convert a size medium white Hanes men’s undershirt into a headband, necklace, and scarf (not all at once, though, you have to choose one at a time). Lucky for me, I also had some boxes of dye lying around, so I made my white into a nice brilliant yellow and navy, but you probably have some colorful thirft store shirts you can cut up, if you so choose.

What I did, was cut the shirt into “strips” (which are actually loops) by just snipping from one side of the T-shirt to the other until I got to the armpits themselves. Each one was about two inches thick and rather jagged and imperfect. I died half the loops blue and half yellow, because that’s the colors I had lying around. After they were sort-of dried (as I said, impatient), I played with the loops, until I found some fashionable looks, such as:

Headbands:

But that seemed too boring, despite all the various ways I could combine my loops. So, I tried simple necklaces:

Unarguably handsome, for a crappy white T-shirt, but I knew they could be more. I finally landed on double-looping my scraps together in chain to create a scarf or a very high-fashion necklace (we all know high-fashion is actually glamorized low-fashion, everything starts on the streetz, as they say):

Finally, I apologize that I’ve forced you to see my face and my silly PJs and my messy room and everything else that comes with crappy photos from the little lens in your mac notebook. Nonetheless, I think you have the idea and cheapness is part of the charm of Unemployment Project of the Week, isn’t it?

If you really can’t think of anything to do with the useless things you have lying around, try Craftster.org. You are bound to find something to do over there. And, if you are employed, check out these spring fashions that you can actually purchase in a real store.

Upon seeing a tiny <insert ANYTHING>, only those with the coldest of hearts can squash a visceral response of…”aww.” Accompanied with the occasional shoulder shrug, of course. It is possible, however, that my heart is too warm. If I see almost anything that I can fit in my pocket or coin pouch, I succumb to the magnetizing cuteness force. Kind of like emf, the topic in physics class (that I especially despised). To my moderate embarrassment, my weak little heart melts into a Capri Sun-puddle. In my college bedroom, I maintained a small collection of worldly tiny acquisitions on my windowsill. A green alien (evanston, summer 2006). A heavy pig flashlight (japan, fall 2007). A pink cat rested on a longevity peach bun (ithaca, spring 2006). I’ve taken excellent care of my tiny treasures. Except the alien. He disappeared during my last move. The following is a list of twenty-two lovely things that are tiny enough to fit in your pocket (or other small places). Even pockets of Cheap Monday jeans, which I’ve included in the wee graphic above. I’m hardly a jean snob, but there are several pairs (Cheap Monday, Levi, Forever 21) that I wear more than others (Rich and Skinny = BLEH).

ANYWAYS, since I am excessively chatty, this post is too overwhelming without a click through. Click for the rest of this post! (more…)