Perhaps because I work in public health, poop is more than something I excrete.  I am desensitized to any stories of fecal mishaps, and poop is fully integrated in my daily conversations.  Especially diarrhea. You do know it’s the number two killer of children under five in the developing world, no?  Well now you know (shooting star).

Given the importance of poop in my field of work, and my fascination with strange pens and pencils (here, here, here), you can understand how pleased I was to find the above poop pens in a Hanoi cutesy-stuff shop.  LITERALLY, POOP ON PENS!

“We all love crazy shit, so we have it!!!” Is this a true statement? I mean, I know people who are quite relieved when they have a nice s-shaped bowel movement. Would that be “crazy shit”?  The store also had a stuffed poop (like the figurine on top of the pen, but with the softness and density of a stuffed animal).  I did not get that.  This is unfortunately one pen that you can’t get on JetPens.

When Maria and I staged the first Stickers and Donuts school supplies celebration, we weren’t even in school.  We both succumbed to the 9-5 lifestyle, and tried (with all our might) to skirt around becoming a what-is-it-about-20-something.  And as all little girls dream about greater things beyond their immediate life, we envisioned ourselves lying on quads, with our fingers waffled through plushy blades of grass.  Loads of grass.

In reality, our dreams manifested in posts on notebooks and pens, and all the great materialistic things associated with school.  A year later, Maria went off to University of Virginia to terrorize undergraduates with multi-colored syllabi (just kidding, Maria), and I just completed my first week at Johns Hopkins School of Public Health.  I do not get to terrorize fledglings with fun syllabi.  I AM a fledgling.

To commemorate the fact that we are both in school, you will get to enjoy a special bombardment of back to school posts.  Like shoes.  Shoes would fall under the “back to school” category.  And books.  (Because there’s just so much reading you can do on neonatal mortality.)

This year is even MORE special, because there is a GIVEAWAY involved.  One reader will win some tight Stickers and Donuts buttons made by Busy Beaver Buttons, and two fantastic JetPens gifts: a Nomadic Triple Pouch Pencil Case and a Stad K’Zool Multi Wooden Pencil Sharpener (more information on these below)!  Per usual Stickers and Donuts giveaway rules: to enter, comment on this post (by September 12) .  We will select the winner by a random number generator. To enter, you must live in the US (sorry international friends)!

1. I am a big supporter of post-it note flags.  My piles of reading assignments are littered with translucent flags, to such an extent that I’ve devalued the importance of each flag.  These page markers are much cuter than mine.  I think they’re supposed to be snow white and the seven dwarves, but the little men look like lawn gnomes.  And lawn gnomes make me think of playing the Sims.  Yeesh.  Fairytale Page Flags from Patina, $5

2. Poor handwriting?  Start using grid paper.  It will do wonders for your handwriting, and your future secretary (for when you are big and powerful) will be eternally grateful.  Given my past as one of THOSE secretaries, I can affirm that this fact is true.  (Also this grid notebook is designed by Jason Munn.  We interviewed him ages ago!).  The Grid Notebook by Jason Munn from Little Otsu, $6

3.  These pens have become my favorite pens, and have never failed me while I’m trying to furiously scribble notes because my laptop is too old/heavy to bring to class.  I once bought a couple of these pens for someone, and he immediately purchased a box of them.  They are that great.  I swear.  Uni-ball Signo DX UM-151 Gel Ink Pen in BORDEAUX BLACK (!!!) 0.38mm from JetPens, $2.25

4. If you cringe when people dog flag pages in one of your books, you probably have secretly fantasized about getting a library embosser.  OR, you haven’t fantasized about such a thing, but now that I’m bringing it up, getting one sounds like a good idea.  I bought this for a friend, and she seemed to enjoy it.  So much so that after she got it, a sheet of paper was filled with the same embossed image of her name fifteen times.  Well, that’s what she reported.  Library Embosser from Horchow, $26

5. My confession: I have had John Derian for Target in my Google Calendar for a month.  John Derian is a designer based in NYC, who puts my mod-podge skills to shame.  His home goods feature beautiful 18th/19th century illustrations, which are unfortunately out of the grad school, or even non-grad school budget.  I’ve already shared my love of vintage science illustrations, so of course I am pro-John Derian.  John Derian for Target Animal Wastebasket from Target, $30

6.  I use Mirando Black Warrior pencils.  70% of this behavior stems from the fact that it is deeply gratifying using a pencil named “black warrior.”  It is like you have a pencil advantage over someone who may be using something inferior.  Like a pencil called “black cadet.”  Mirando Black Warriors sharpen exceptionally well.  For pencils that don’t sharpen well, however, a good pencil sharpener is necessary to abate the frustration of a BROKEN PENCIL LEAD.  This pencil sharpener has an adjustable dial, so you can control lead length.  It even won a Japan Good Design Award, and I am all about accolades.  Except that one time my friends and I tried barefoot wine out of curiosity (it had a gold medal sticker).  A very regrettable choice.  Stad K’Zool Multi Wooden Pencil Sharpener from JetPens, $4.50

7. Oh Joy! is one of the most solid blogs I read.  As a result, I can click on Oh Joy!, and never suffer shock over seeing something really hideous and questionable.  This never happens.  Since Oh Joy! is far cooler than me, she has designed all kinds of pretty notebooks and stationery- like this notepad.  Oh Joy! Noteblock from Chronicle Books, $15

8. A few months ago, I reviewed the Nomadic Wise-Walker backpack (thanks for all the nice comments!), and now that school has begun, I am finding the backpack incredibly reliable for daily use.  This pencil pouch shares similar characteristics to its backpack sibling: it’s lightweight and has lots of pockets. Nomadic Triple Pouch Pencil case from JetPens, $12

9. I’m unfortunately on an 8-week quarter schedule now, which I do not enjoy.  At all.  Last week in NYC, I picked up these notebooks, which are recycled, very portable and a perfect size for an 8-week term.  Recycled Paper Note from Muji, $4 (set of five notebooks)

Writing Implement Test Sheet in PDF

So, Tricia’s recent post on Brush Pens debuted the “Official StickersAndDonuts.com Writing Implement Test Sheet” (as seen above). I got a handful of requests for a pdf version of the test sheet, which I am presenting to you above (download it and you will see it’s a full, printable page). Feel free to test away with your various pens and pencils. (If you need help figuring out what to test, check out Tricia’s ever-popular guide to Pens and Pencils).

After various adventures (click if you are curious), I have returned!  With! Something! Exciting!  As an ardent doodler, my notebooks are littered with squiggles and fat birds (affectionately nicknamed my little “obese birdies”).  I will be writing lines of text in my awful handwriting, and SUDDENLY I’ll start thinking about something silly.  Like petit fours.  Too weak to resist the doodling twitches, I find myself abandoning a block of text, finding a clean plot of paper, and stamping my claim.  As a result, it’s a lovely treat to come across a tighttt doodling tool.  Yes, these pens are worthy of the extra Ts.

The Kuretake Pocket Color Brush Pen is perfect for doodling!  My greatest beef with marker pens is that they often have weak tips.  Although it is possible that I exert an abnormally excessive amount of force (I have small hands and weak arm muscles…PRESIDENTIAL FITNESS PULL-UPS? FAIL.), I feel like marker pens should at least be able to survive my abuse.  I’ve played with my pink Kuretake brush pen for a while (thank you JetPens!), and the tip is still in perfect condition (WIN).  I even subjected it to….

THE STICKERS AND DONUTS WRITING IMPLEMENT TEST SHEET (SO FRESH, SO THOROUGH)!!!!

Maria crafted this official test sheet, and it is exciting to finally debut it!  As you can see, I am hardly the artist.  ALSO OF NOTE, I should have added “so far” after “Things I Have Eaten Today.”  Fear not: I am hardly anorexic; this list simply logs my intake from 8-1pm that day.  The most notable bit of this great test sheet is the water test!  I subjected my last new pen to a torturous waterboarding test, and felt it necessary to again execute the same test.  The Kuretake brush pen line is supposed to be water resistant, and this test confirms it.  The blob is only minimally fuzzy, despite all the water I threw at it.   SUCCESS.

Kuretake Pocket Color Brush Pen – $1.50 per pen; 6 color set ($9); 12 color set ($18) at JetPens.com!

Maria’s Note, 1/24: As per your requests, a blank, full-page version of the “Writing Implement Test Sheet” is available for download here.

1. Supposedly the world’s finest pen, I was extremely excited when I got this. And then I stupidly left it on the counter of the café I worked at and an architect snatched it up! Womp womp. It comes in 14 colors and writes surprisingly smooth (even though the tip is so tiny!), Uni-ball Signo Bit 0.18 mm Pen from JetPens, $3 each

2. Lead advance button = for old farts. Simply shake this pencil and the lead comes out! Watch it in action on YouTube!, Pilot 2020 Shaker Super Grip Pencil from JetPens, $3 each

3. I never liked erasable pens- I could never find one that wrote smoothly. This one is exceptionally magical because the ink is smooth AND thermosensitive. Rub your text with the rubber pen butt and it disappears! Plus, the name has a GIANT ‘X’…and you know everything sounds cooler with a capital X (ex: Xtreme), Pentel FriXion Erasable Pen from JetPens, $3 each

4. Hey, if you’re a crappy writer, at least your prose will smell good. Comes in three scents: Healing, Refresh, and Positive (ha!), Pentel Ain Supplio Nanotech Scented Mechanical Pencil from JetPens, $3 each

5. This is my absolute favorite pen. It comes in over 15 colors and in 0.25mm, 0.3mm, and 0.4mm tips. It never clogs, is silky smooth, and features a convenient ink barrel gauge (so you know when to get a new pen!), Pentel Slicci Pen from JetPens, $3 each

6. I used to secretly make fun of my classmates who would take notes with ten different colors of STABILO pens. And then I became one of them. Available in 25 colors!, STABILO Point 88 Pen from Dick Blick, $0.77 each

7. Do you find yourself silently cursing at those pesky finger-tapping-foot-shaking kids at the library? Psh! Be proactive! Shoot them…with the Nerf Dart Blaster Toy pen! (Side note: I have a friend who was in the aforementioned situation, and when the pest went to the bathroom, he stole the kid’s highlighters. Too bad he didn’t have a Nerf Dart pen.) PEW! PEW! PEW!, Nerf Dart Blaster Toy Pen from Amazon, $5.99 each

8. SCENARIO! You’re in class. Then you turn to the person sitting next to you and say, “Hey… soul mate. How do you feel about you…me…and some Connect Four?”, Connect Four Game Pen from Amazon, $5.99 each

9. My biggest “arrggghh” about fabric pens that I find in craft stores is that the pen tip is TOO FAT. And they BLEED. And they RUIN my artistic vision. HARRUMPH! These pens are great because they come in 0.4 mm, 0.7 mm, and 1.0 mm tip sizes, Pilot Fabric Marker Pen from Jet Pens, $1.80 each

10. I LOVE these pens. The ink dries glossy and 3-D. I received the 10 color set right before I began studying organic chemistry. After every class, I looked forward to going through my notes and underlining with these pens. I also used them to draw little arrows and electrons in my reaction mechanisms. Basically, I had the most baller and fun orgo notes ever. And I ended up doing pretty well in orgo too. Sakura Glaze Pen from Jet Pens, $3.95 for two

11. OK, I admit, the name? Negative cool points. And it kind of makes me uncomfortable. Pretend it’s named something cool…like…Silly String Pen….or Magical Moldy Growth Pen…and the pen instantaneously becomes 10x more acceptable! (Well, perhaps I’m the only one who thinks my names are super cool) Although completely impractical for any sort of schoolwork, these pens are great fun!#$!! After you write, the ink magically puffs up. Your words will transform into popcorny letters. Or at least look like E.coli that has been inoculating on super agar at an optimal temperature, Dong-A Popcorn Puffy Paint Pen from JetPens, $1.20 each

12. For the indecisive color-lover who loves to doodle. And oh man. Oh. Man. In addition to some rad packaging (Both the words “magic” AND “crazy” appear on the package), the pencils come in the following colors: “Original,” “Tropical,” “Neon”….and….wait for it……”AMERICAN & FIRE” (!@#!!!) I have always wanted to doodle with an “American & Fire” pencil, Koh-I-Noor Magic FX Pencil from PencilLovers, $12.05 for a set of 5

13. Remember when Pentel Milky pens were super popular (on the fad timeline it was right around Casio Baby-G watches and Smash Mouth)? These are like Milky pens 2.0 – the colors are more vibrant, the barrel is beefier, and they can write on many surfaces, Pilot Latte from JetPens, $1.80 each

Now that you possess a glorious new pencil trap, it’s time to start filling it with some pens and pencils. Although new Ticonderogas and Uni-ball Micros are great, these pens are amazing!!! I am obsessed with extra fine tipped writing utensils. As you can see, JetPens is my FAVORITE place to get new pens!!! I love an extra fine tip pen (my preferred tip size is 0.28mm), and there are very few retailers (in the US) that sell that size!

Extra note: For those of you who are really into pens, I recommend that you check out The Pen Addict.  It is the ultimate online authority on pens, and is packed with product reviews.

To see other school supplies posts, click here!