Perhaps because I work in public health, poop is more than something I excrete.  I am desensitized to any stories of fecal mishaps, and poop is fully integrated in my daily conversations.  Especially diarrhea. You do know it’s the number two killer of children under five in the developing world, no?  Well now you know (shooting star).

Given the importance of poop in my field of work, and my fascination with strange pens and pencils (here, here, here), you can understand how pleased I was to find the above poop pens in a Hanoi cutesy-stuff shop.  LITERALLY, POOP ON PENS!

“We all love crazy shit, so we have it!!!” Is this a true statement? I mean, I know people who are quite relieved when they have a nice s-shaped bowel movement. Would that be “crazy shit”?  The store also had a stuffed poop (like the figurine on top of the pen, but with the softness and density of a stuffed animal).  I did not get that.  This is unfortunately one pen that you can’t get on JetPens.

For me, returning to school translates to a new city and a new apartment.  But beyond room decorations, here is an assortment of items that will make your new school life much more superior than your life without a brass knuckle ring mug.

1.  I got these boots after a college friend had similar ones from Asos (those were sold out).  Very practical for the fall, and for stomping.  Aiden Leather Lace Up Brogue Boots from Asos, $84.25

2. New socks and underwear seem to be a new school year standard.  For a long time, my mother would buy me a pack of Hanes Girls’ Ankle socks every fall.  Don’t deny it- you are totally familiar with the kind of socks I’m talking about.  In fact, I didn’t even *need* to provide that link.   What continues to baffle me is those socks have a lifespan of maybe two months.  They’re mystically more prone to laundry machine consumption, or losing their matching soul mate.  Before I digress further, can I introduce to you these stellar bike socks?  So many constellations that you might be convinced to hand wash your pair, thus a chance at outliving Hanes ankle socks.  Smooth Rider Socks from Anthropologie, $12

3. I saw this at Quimby’s in Chicago, and I told my friend Angelica about it.  We both are old men at heart who like Whiskey, so it was rather serendipitous that my path crossed with this book.  Angelica claims that the old men in the book give advice (she actually purchased it before me, since I was busy moving), and I have faith that she is not lying.  Old Man Drinks: Recipes, Advice, and Barstool Wisdom from Amazon, $8.13

4. My roommate likes dinosaurs so much, that our house network name is “Triceratops.”  Legit.  Triceratops Lamp from Think Geek, $19.99

5. One day, I plan on owning a long haired dachshund.  Dachshunds might be my favorite dog breed, and even though I know racing is bad for their delicate backs, I want to attend a dachshund race.  One of my favorite work stories involves discovering that someone at work ordered this dachshund cuff bracelet from SKYMALL(!).  Dachshund Bookends by Jonathan Adler (!) from Pop Deluxe, $149.99

6. When I saw this fish condo, I started laughing hysterically.  I know my psyche is off, as I’ve lost my mind trying to survive the demands of school, but fish modular dwelling is HILARIOUS.  Fish Condo from Patina, $25

7. Without fail, if it is 7:45AM, I am looking for my keys in the house.  This would probably allow me to eliminate my daily five minute scout.  Home Tweet Home KeyHolder from ModCloth, $15.99

8. If someone attacks you while you are drinking coffee out of this mug, I imagine you could throw the mug on the ground, thus separating the brass knuckles from the cup, and have a great weapon for retaliation.  Melee Mug from Think Geek, $15.99

9. Excellent for those dependent on their cell phones for the time (and have dead cell phones).  Bike Gear Crank Clock from pixelthis on Etsy, $57

10.  My favorite breakfast is a toasted everything bagel (by the way the cafe at school coats the entire bagel in seeds, which blows my mind), and I’ve made great challah.  I suppose it was inevitable that my favorite glasses are Jewish too.  Moscot is a great company to get glasses from.  Since I couldn’t go to the store in person (this was when I lived in Chicago), I ordered the Nebb SE Peacock over the phone.  The process was pleasant and when I noticed that the inside of the lenses were slightly chipped, they replaced them for free.  A month ago I was at the Moscot store on the Lower East Side, and I noticed that the Nebb comes in Olive too!  An additional incentive with my Moscot glasses?  They came with a eyeglass wipe featuring Grandma Sylvia.   Nebb Olive Green from Moscot, $225 (frame)

Thanks to everyone who entered the school supplies giveaway! Commentor #14 Megan, you win!  I’ll email you shortly…

Have a great weekend, since I know I won’t.  Womp womp.

When Maria and I staged the first Stickers and Donuts school supplies celebration, we weren’t even in school.  We both succumbed to the 9-5 lifestyle, and tried (with all our might) to skirt around becoming a what-is-it-about-20-something.  And as all little girls dream about greater things beyond their immediate life, we envisioned ourselves lying on quads, with our fingers waffled through plushy blades of grass.  Loads of grass.

In reality, our dreams manifested in posts on notebooks and pens, and all the great materialistic things associated with school.  A year later, Maria went off to University of Virginia to terrorize undergraduates with multi-colored syllabi (just kidding, Maria), and I just completed my first week at Johns Hopkins School of Public Health.  I do not get to terrorize fledglings with fun syllabi.  I AM a fledgling.

To commemorate the fact that we are both in school, you will get to enjoy a special bombardment of back to school posts.  Like shoes.  Shoes would fall under the “back to school” category.  And books.  (Because there’s just so much reading you can do on neonatal mortality.)

This year is even MORE special, because there is a GIVEAWAY involved.  One reader will win some tight Stickers and Donuts buttons made by Busy Beaver Buttons, and two fantastic JetPens gifts: a Nomadic Triple Pouch Pencil Case and a Stad K’Zool Multi Wooden Pencil Sharpener (more information on these below)!  Per usual Stickers and Donuts giveaway rules: to enter, comment on this post (by September 12) .  We will select the winner by a random number generator. To enter, you must live in the US (sorry international friends)!

1. I am a big supporter of post-it note flags.  My piles of reading assignments are littered with translucent flags, to such an extent that I’ve devalued the importance of each flag.  These page markers are much cuter than mine.  I think they’re supposed to be snow white and the seven dwarves, but the little men look like lawn gnomes.  And lawn gnomes make me think of playing the Sims.  Yeesh.  Fairytale Page Flags from Patina, $5

2. Poor handwriting?  Start using grid paper.  It will do wonders for your handwriting, and your future secretary (for when you are big and powerful) will be eternally grateful.  Given my past as one of THOSE secretaries, I can affirm that this fact is true.  (Also this grid notebook is designed by Jason Munn.  We interviewed him ages ago!).  The Grid Notebook by Jason Munn from Little Otsu, $6

3.  These pens have become my favorite pens, and have never failed me while I’m trying to furiously scribble notes because my laptop is too old/heavy to bring to class.  I once bought a couple of these pens for someone, and he immediately purchased a box of them.  They are that great.  I swear.  Uni-ball Signo DX UM-151 Gel Ink Pen in BORDEAUX BLACK (!!!) 0.38mm from JetPens, $2.25

4. If you cringe when people dog flag pages in one of your books, you probably have secretly fantasized about getting a library embosser.  OR, you haven’t fantasized about such a thing, but now that I’m bringing it up, getting one sounds like a good idea.  I bought this for a friend, and she seemed to enjoy it.  So much so that after she got it, a sheet of paper was filled with the same embossed image of her name fifteen times.  Well, that’s what she reported.  Library Embosser from Horchow, $26

5. My confession: I have had John Derian for Target in my Google Calendar for a month.  John Derian is a designer based in NYC, who puts my mod-podge skills to shame.  His home goods feature beautiful 18th/19th century illustrations, which are unfortunately out of the grad school, or even non-grad school budget.  I’ve already shared my love of vintage science illustrations, so of course I am pro-John Derian.  John Derian for Target Animal Wastebasket from Target, $30

6.  I use Mirando Black Warrior pencils.  70% of this behavior stems from the fact that it is deeply gratifying using a pencil named “black warrior.”  It is like you have a pencil advantage over someone who may be using something inferior.  Like a pencil called “black cadet.”  Mirando Black Warriors sharpen exceptionally well.  For pencils that don’t sharpen well, however, a good pencil sharpener is necessary to abate the frustration of a BROKEN PENCIL LEAD.  This pencil sharpener has an adjustable dial, so you can control lead length.  It even won a Japan Good Design Award, and I am all about accolades.  Except that one time my friends and I tried barefoot wine out of curiosity (it had a gold medal sticker).  A very regrettable choice.  Stad K’Zool Multi Wooden Pencil Sharpener from JetPens, $4.50

7. Oh Joy! is one of the most solid blogs I read.  As a result, I can click on Oh Joy!, and never suffer shock over seeing something really hideous and questionable.  This never happens.  Since Oh Joy! is far cooler than me, she has designed all kinds of pretty notebooks and stationery- like this notepad.  Oh Joy! Noteblock from Chronicle Books, $15

8. A few months ago, I reviewed the Nomadic Wise-Walker backpack (thanks for all the nice comments!), and now that school has begun, I am finding the backpack incredibly reliable for daily use.  This pencil pouch shares similar characteristics to its backpack sibling: it’s lightweight and has lots of pockets. Nomadic Triple Pouch Pencil case from JetPens, $12

9. I’m unfortunately on an 8-week quarter schedule now, which I do not enjoy.  At all.  Last week in NYC, I picked up these notebooks, which are recycled, very portable and a perfect size for an 8-week term.  Recycled Paper Note from Muji, $4 (set of five notebooks)

My freshman year of college, I received the nickname “Gogo.”  No, not a reference to the perfect-hair chanteuses who brag about having beats.  My model: Gogo Yubari…the Kill Bill schoolgirl with unbridled rage (and a meteor hammer).  I was far from a killer, just an occasional swatter when someone (a victim) would unexpectedly tap my shoulder.  Or hug me.

I am now more conservative with my swats, but violence still innocently reverberates throughout my body.   Harmless karma itchings.  For example, let’s say that you’re on the subway, a stranger throws a laundry basket at you, and they LAUGH.  (True story.)  For me, moments like these demand a little cathartic relief.  Maybe a wee wish that the perpetrator trips.  A little.   As a supporter of such passive aggressive violence (not physical violence! PEACE FLAGS/SIGNS/DOVES), here is list of items that I believe secretly violent people will enjoy.  The following is dedicated to all the males & females that have angered me this past week.

1. Uncanny resemblance to your ex-boyfriend, right?  Best of all, it’s NECESSARY to stab and store your knives.  Leaving them on the counter would be bad knife etiquette.  Ex Voodoo Knife Holder from Perpetual Kid, $70

2. “Yes, you treated me so wretchedly that you deserve to be slammed in between Twilight.”  Dead Mark Bookmark from Perpetual Kid, $12

3. An apotheosis of journals, this is perfect to write about all the vexing characters in your life.  The inside even has quotes to fuel your anger!  (See below) In My Humble Opinion Journal from Knock Knock, $17

4. Pad of voodoo dolls = 60 opportunities to curse.  Paper Voodoo Pad from Knock Knock, $7.50 (Note: Remember when Maria interviewed Jen Bilik, founder and creator of Knock Knock?)

5. “Dear Roommate, please discard your putrid veal from the fridge or you will end up like this poor sticky man. xoxo.” Murder Ink Sticky Note Pad from Pure Modern, $10 (pre-order now!)

6.  Have you ever imagined sneaking into your ex-special friend’s bathroom, replacing his/her bathroom mat with a more sanguineous version, thus provoking him/her to run away from his/her bathroom in terror, dropping his/her towel outside in the deemed “safe haven,” and crying? Revenge, my friend.  Blood Bath Mat from Perpetual Kid, $18

Do you like Knock Knock’s In My Humble Opinion journal as much as Maria and me?  Thanks to Knock Knock, you have a lovely opportunity to win your very own journal!  To win, leave a comment (a brief vent about someone who angered you this week? or a “hi tricia?!”…I HAVE PRESENTED YOU WITH TWO IDEAS) below by Sunday, November 8th!  We will select the winner by a random number generator, and announce the winner on Monday, November 9th!

After various adventures (click if you are curious), I have returned!  With! Something! Exciting!  As an ardent doodler, my notebooks are littered with squiggles and fat birds (affectionately nicknamed my little “obese birdies”).  I will be writing lines of text in my awful handwriting, and SUDDENLY I’ll start thinking about something silly.  Like petit fours.  Too weak to resist the doodling twitches, I find myself abandoning a block of text, finding a clean plot of paper, and stamping my claim.  As a result, it’s a lovely treat to come across a tighttt doodling tool.  Yes, these pens are worthy of the extra Ts.

The Kuretake Pocket Color Brush Pen is perfect for doodling!  My greatest beef with marker pens is that they often have weak tips.  Although it is possible that I exert an abnormally excessive amount of force (I have small hands and weak arm muscles…PRESIDENTIAL FITNESS PULL-UPS? FAIL.), I feel like marker pens should at least be able to survive my abuse.  I’ve played with my pink Kuretake brush pen for a while (thank you JetPens!), and the tip is still in perfect condition (WIN).  I even subjected it to….

THE STICKERS AND DONUTS WRITING IMPLEMENT TEST SHEET (SO FRESH, SO THOROUGH)!!!!

Maria crafted this official test sheet, and it is exciting to finally debut it!  As you can see, I am hardly the artist.  ALSO OF NOTE, I should have added “so far” after “Things I Have Eaten Today.”  Fear not: I am hardly anorexic; this list simply logs my intake from 8-1pm that day.  The most notable bit of this great test sheet is the water test!  I subjected my last new pen to a torturous waterboarding test, and felt it necessary to again execute the same test.  The Kuretake brush pen line is supposed to be water resistant, and this test confirms it.  The blob is only minimally fuzzy, despite all the water I threw at it.   SUCCESS.

Kuretake Pocket Color Brush Pen – $1.50 per pen; 6 color set ($9); 12 color set ($18) at JetPens.com!

Maria’s Note, 1/24: As per your requests, a blank, full-page version of the “Writing Implement Test Sheet” is available for download here.

NO, these carbohydrates are not from Tricia’s Tiny Things List, they are Iwako Pastry Erasers from JetPens ($5.50 for the 6 erasers & tray). As soon as I received them, I wrote the following email to my co-editor Tricia:

“tricia they sent me this and i can’t get anything done: i keep pulling off the top of the cream puff and putting it back on and then pretending to eat them and picking them up and putting them down and then moving the tray away from me so I’ll stop and then putting it back on the corner of my laptop. SERIOUSLY.”

Having now owned these delectable dishes for a full 10 hours, I am obsessed. They are the most realistic looking erasers I’ve ever seen – I believe they contend with plastic dollhouse food. You can TAKE OFF the top of the cream puff and there is a strawberry in there or you can take off the layers of the pizza. This obviously means hours of fun. At age 10, my dolls would’ve opened a pastry shop in the bottom floor of their wooden house. Now that I’m more than double that age, I’ve packaged them in a ziploc bag to bring to work (true story).

I have to admit, though I loved these little foods on first sight, I feared I was going to have to lump them into the same category as those dark pink erasers on the top of cheap pencils (you know, the kind that leave eraser smudges across the paper, which makes it worse than the mistake in the first place), or those pencil-toppers in the shapes of bears & cats. They were always much worse than regular erasers. I DESPISE bad erasers.

Anyway, I didn’t want to ruin my food, so I just used the bottom corner of the croissant. In a very scientific test which involved erasing an incorrect math answer, it performed just as well as the pink eraser atop my favorite pencil (Dixon Ticonderoga #2). Both left a ghost of my nine, but no smudges or ghastly pink or granite lines.

This was a huge surprise. There has to be new eraser technology or else why wouldn’t all of those crappy pencil toppers work better? As JetPens said themselves, “Mistakes seem somehow brighter when you erase them with a piece of cake” — especially when that piece of cake actually erases. Anyway, erasure success means only one thing: you need to buy TWO SETS — one for erasing and one to bring to work & pretend to eat.

Iwako Postry on Try Novelty Eraser — 6 Piece Set ($5.50) Or, if carbs aren’t your style, you can try for other eraser sets including sushi, american food (we eat french fries & soda, btw), or these lovely japanese snacks.

Note from Tricia: I, too, received this delightful set from JetPens yesterday, and I AGREE WITH EVERYTHING MARIA MENTIONED.  I am enamored with the cream puff, and the first act of my eraser exhibition to my coworkers involved me removing the top of the cream puff.  Oohs and Aahs followed.  (Of course.)

Happy Friday! Posts are going to be light and/or non-existent through Tuesday (LSATs / GREs!!!!)! This post is long. Save half of it for Monday? xo

I blame Tricia & Bobby Solomon for the messiness of this post.

First of all, Tricia’s study-supply-heavy currently obsessed post prompted me to write my own study-supply heavy currently obsessed post. (Hopefully, between the two of us, your next study session will be super-productive (and you will gain five pounds).)

Bobby Solomon doesn’t know who I am, but I read his blog & am really obsessed with his desktop wallpaper project. He has twitter (so does Stickers & Donuts!) and commented on Ben Fold’s new album with a song featuring Regina Spektor, which I also love, and in usual internet-fashion I now feel really connected and really creepy.

ANYWAY, right after laying out the images for this post, I discovered this week’s desktop wallpaper featuring Billy Murray on Bobby’s blog, and (instant obsession!) had to squeeze it into my post. Due to a layer error and time constraints, I had only so many choices in reorganization. Alas. Messy.

Anyway, after the jump, long descriptions (procrastination) of the things in the picture. Also, links.

(more…)

Hello friends! In my very first issue of currently obsessed, I’d like to share some things that I’ve recently been consuming/listening to/lusting for. As you can tell from all the picks, I am in study mode. Non-mechanical #2 pencils? Check! Candy and coffee? Double check! (Note: My productivity is correlated with candy consumption. Legit.  Kind of like Felicity’s pre-med roommate and her M&Ms, minus the pre-med part.  Or, Michael from the Princess Diaries and HIS M&Ms. ) The Life Aquatic violates this set from being completely study-related (I can only intake a limited amount of David Bowie. Especially when I’m trying to “critically” read.), but this is currently obsessed…so no discrimination allowed. Ciao!

• I got a pack of Ticonderoga tri-writes last month. They are wonderful! I hold writing utensils awkwardly and incorrectly (it’s not my fault!) (my hand basically looks like it is itching to punch someone…I know you were trying to picture my awkward-looking hand…). They sharpen very well (I love my Maped sharpener!). As the name implies, the pencil is triangular- a built in pencil grip! Also, these pencils don’t run away when you throw them down in frustration. How obedient!
• Trader Darwin (Joe)’s Gummi Vites are the best! I have a really difficult time taking vitamins. I never remember, and when I do, I cringe when I see the submarine-sized pills. Bleh. These make taking vitamins so much fun! They might be too much fun, however, because I have definitely been taking more than the recommended amount. :( Trader Joe’s, $4.99 for a bottle of 70.
• Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about Bill Murray. As part of the Chicago Air & Water Show a month ago, he jumped out of a plane. I thought it was particularly funny that the Chicago Tribune chronicled his jump, minute by minute. The search feature of the Chicago Tribune website is stumping me right now (as is Chicago Tribune’s distasteful usa-todayification…which re-affirms the New York Times’ superiority…REALLY? DO YOU THINK I’M AN IDIOT AND NEED A PAGE-BAR TO NAVIGATE A NEWSPAPER?), but here’s the gawker article that mocks the Chicago Tribune’s Murray coverage. Just last week, Bill Murray was in the news again in regards to his apparent approval of an upcoming Ghostbusters film. Anyways, with all this Bill Murray nonsense, I realized that I still did not have the soundtrack to The Life Aquatic. I have been listening to it since I got it this past weekend, and it’s pretty good. I’m not ready to declare where it falls in my personal Wes-Anderson-soundtrack rankings (Royal Tennebaums and Rushmore are exceptionally tight), but this one is great.
• At Trader Joe’s they sell this licorice in 1lb tubs. When you put a twisty chunk in your mouth? Utter bliss. Inspired by this post on Mindy Ephron’s blog, I went searching for a tub of Kookaburra at Trader Joe’s.  Although it may not be Kookaburra, the licorice still tastes like the best masticated-fruit roll up ever.  I can finish a tub, by myself, in less than a day. :( Trader Joe’s, $3.99 for a 1lb tub.
• This is one of the most clever devices that I have ever seen. The Pentel Handy-lineS Memorization Aid Highlighter Set (whew! what a name) includes a green highlighter, an eraser marker, and a piece of red film. As you can already tell, this is not a normal highlighter. So let’s say that you have this monstrous exam on world capitals. You have in your notes, “Thimphu is the capital of Bhutan.” While you’re studying, you highlight “Thimphu,” because you want to make sure it is ingrained in your head. Also, highlighting keeps you from falling asleep. After you’ve reached Zimbabwe on your list, you’d like to test yourself to see how much you’ve retained. Instead of awkwardly covering up your highlighted capitals with your fingers, all you have to do is cover your notes with the red film. Result? The film masks your highlighted text, and you can’t read it! Test away! When you’re done studying, you can even un-highlight test using the eraser. MAGIC! Available at JetPens, $5.70
• Moonstruck Chocolate Company is one of the best chocolatiers. They make really great truffles, and their chocolates are always well-balanced and not too alcoholicy (like Godiva). There used to be a lovely company-owned Moonstruck Cafe on Michigan Ave., but it closed. Womp womp. As a result, one of the only places you can get Moonstruck chocolates downtown is Macy’s. Moonstruck has a few cute signatures, including their ice cream cone collection, cupcake truffle collection, AND critter truffle collection. Similar to their iconic critter truffles, “Election Collection 08″ features elephant and donkey truffles! How patriotic! The elephant is a dark chocolate extra-bittersweet ganache, and the donkey features Moonstruck’s Mayan Ganache (milk chocolate, almonds, cinnamon). Also of note, the last time I was at the State Street Macy’s, the only election truffles left were elephants. I find this amusing and very telling. Available at Moonstruck, $15 for a collection of four.
• Sometimes I go to Caffe Rom twice a day. It has gotten so excessive, that I feel like they know me pretty well. I think I’m on my way from becoming “medium americano girl” to “Tricia.” This graduation is sort of exciting, and sort of embarassing. However, this is one of my favorite places to get coffee. It reminds me of my ex-barista days, and the espresso is good. I gave Intelligentsia a chance (actually two chances), and it was pretty gross. Unwelcomingly sour. And, whenever I go to Starbucks, I always spill. Probably because the hippie free trade coffee gods are trying to punish me. Karma is a bitch when you are wearing something non-black.

1. These critters will always be hungry (just like me!).  All four are extremely cute – although I have lukewarm feelings towards the frog’s sleazy white smile…it reminds me of Ross Geller’s teeth, Animal Swing-Lid Cans from The Container Store, $11.99 (Warning! Panda friend is back-ordered.  The frog is too.  Apparently I’m the only one who does not support the frog.)

2. I always need snacks while I work.  I HATE, however, CRUMBS.  Something else that I HATE: eraser boogers.  I use my Staedtler latex eraser incessantly, thus my desk is always littered with eraser junk.  AND THEN!  The eraser junk ventures to the crevice of my book spines, which leads to me obsessing over trying to fish the boogers out with my pencil tip.  Well, if you are a dork like me, you might enjoy this DESK VACUUM DISGUISED AS A ROBOT.  BONUS POINTS: its arms move!  Pretend it’s waving at you.  Hello, robot friend!, Robo Vac Desktop Vacuum from ThinkGeek, $12.99

3.  For some reason, new socks and underwear are always marketed as a back-to-school items.  This has always struck me as somewhat strange.  But, I immediately stop thinking about this great enigma when I stick my feet into new socks.  Sock Dreams is the ultimate place to get new socks- they offer so many varieties, shipping is fast and free, prices are reasonable, and they are packaged well (last time I ordered from them, my socks were bundled with twine and had a cute little tag).  I have two or three different colors of this style (it comes in 20 colors!), and wear them frequently in the winter under/over jeans.  They keep your legs warm!  I don’t like wearing them over my knees- I usually just bunch them down so I can stare at my sock-swollen ankles,  O Basics from Sock Dreams, $6 a pair

4. I feel like this pen holder would go super well with Monday’s Nert Dart pen.  Also, I am not as violent as my picks suggest, Dead Fred Pen Holder from ThinkGeek, $9.99

5. These sticky notes are silly.  The “Seize the Day” option may sound ridiculous, but I used to live with someone who would write this/things like this on sticky notes.  (Dear person in question: Don’t hate me; I love you!), Knock Knock “Don’t Forget To” Sticky Notes from Lula Mae, $3.25

6. Most of the time, I cringe at the sight of very busy prints.  As a result, I am not a fan of LOUD backpacks.  This one is lovely, simple, and grey (triple victory!), Enjoi Delivery Boy Backpack from Turntable Lab, $44

7. Clever to the max!  This Klever (…that ‘K’ is QUITE necessary) staple-less stapler punches a neat little hole, which ultimately results in a clean paper bind.  Oh!  I can hear your “But I don’t be wanting any holes in my paper!” whines.  Well.  What are your feelings on that unsightly staple hole-barf that appears after you remove a staple?  HMM?  If you use this magical contraption, your document corners will no longer look like they were chewed up by a yeti, Dog or Cat Staple Free Stapler from Hapa Culture, $8

8.  These gummi bear erasers/sharpeners look like they are Power Rangers about to be attacked by zombi gummi bears, Gummy Bear Eraser/Sharpener from See Jane Work, $2.50

9. So when I hear the word “drip,” my Family-Feud response is “nasal passage.”  NOT “nose.”  “Nasal passage.”  I think that a nose-paper clip dispense would be the tightest desktop accessory, ever.  I guess, however, that miniature sinks are cuter than miniature noses, Drip Clips Paperclip Holder from Perpetual Kid, $7.99

10. This alarm clock turns off when you shoot the target with the included laser remote.  I would fail miserably at this; I have horrible vision AND bad aim.  Maybe I DO really enjoy violent school supplies, Laser Target Alarm Clock from ThinkGeek, $17.99

11. A wonderful screen-printed messenger bag!  Be sure to check out her other prints too! (the robots and flowers are pretty cool), Black Bird Field Bag from rainbowswirlz, $20

12. CRITTER RUBBER BANDS!  I hate it when things fly at me, but if someone flung one of these at me, I’d probably exclaim, “A present from the critter fairies!  HOW ADORABLE!”, Pet & Zoo Rubber Bands from See Jane Work, $7

Cue in Europe (…or Gob), because this list includes the final bits of the school supplies series.  I’m sad that this is the end, but Labor Day is almost here.  Thus, I’m sure I’d conjure up mad beef with people if I rattled about sweet pencil sharpeners in November.

To see other school supplies posts, click here and scroll!

1. I enjoy aquatic critters (Jellyfish are so exceptionally tight! Green Fluorescent Protein? – Score), and I believe that Steve Zissou would probably support this planner. MEGA BONUS: It comes with giant squid stickers AND matching buttons, Aquatic Adventure Weekly Planner from Bang Bang You’re Thread, $15

2. Fact: I harbor a wee fantasy to be Harriet the Spy. Necessary clarification: the cool girl on the book cover- red sweatshirt and radamataz sneakers. Definitely NOT movie-Harriet. (Michelle Trachtenberg always ruins TV shows. Dawn? Georgina? HARRUMPH!) These notebooks are perfect for sleuthing and your learning adventures! Plus, the inside cover features a special spot for you to record “pertinent coordinates.” Teehee. Measures 3.5″x5.5″, Field Notes Memo Books, $9.95 (on sale $7.46 until Aug 30)

3. “Hello. My name is Owlet and I am scared shitless of this pogo-stick.” Measures 5.75″x8.25″, Owl Pogo Journal from Patina, $8.95

4. Ahh!!@#!!! Absolutely dreamy! Illustrated by Lart Cognac Berliner, this planner features one long landscape that extends throughout the planner! Measures 7″x5″, Come Along Weekly Planner from Little Otsu, $16

5. This notebook is extra dainty and pretty (so much so that I’d be scared to write in it). Measures 4.5″x6.25″, Letterpressed Petite Journals from Figments, $16

6. I like how this notebook features a guy that is surrounded by manly things (FOREST! JEEP! MOTORCYCLE!)…but he struggles with tying his shoe. Womp womp. Measures 6″x4″, Old School Stationers Notebook from Figments, $20.95

7. Did you know that if you don’t put out your campfire, the forest mafia (on roller skates) will murder you? It’s true. Extra note!: Check out that deer. He is most definitely wearing ipod headphones. IMAGE THAT WOULD NOT OF EXISTED 10 YEARS AGO: iPoded deer. Measures 4″x6″, The Forest Roller Gang Notebook from Poketo!, $7

8. A sumptuous notebook for those who like to cut bitches. Measures 8.5″x10″, Tooks of Antiquity Journal from Poketo!, $50

9. This adorable planner is filled with lots of unconventional pages that are designed to inspire creativity and (neatly) carry your great ideas. And can’t you just imagine yourself saying, “Hold on a second. I need to get out my paper hand so I can write down your number…” Measures 5″x7″, The Non-Planner Datebook from Little Otsu, $16

This third installment of the (super) school supplies series features stellar notebooks and planners (that perfectly complement your jealous-inducing pencil case and pens). I had a (vintage) 1990s PDA (I actually still have it), and I could never get used to using it. Too fancy for me. I like having the option of drawing little doodles around my assignments, and being able to savagely cross off completed assignments.

To see other school supplies posts, click here and scroll!