Last week I began my “Unemployment Project of the Week” post series with a showcase of my great ability to make portraits of portraits. And, though no one emailed me their beautiful renditions of, say, Shakespeare (since we now have a real portrait of him, by the way), I am sure you all got right down to the “job” (let’s call it a “job” to make ourselves feel better) and are ready for a new challenge.

So, next up: Make Something Useful and Fashionable from Scraps (if it wasn’t clear, scraps = whatever you don’t need and will never use). This will force you to use your: (1) creative facilities, (2) time, (3) shit lying around. Perfect.

The sub-title to this project could be: Make a Dashing Loop Necklace from Old T-shirts. But if you don’t have old T-shirts lying around, don’t go out and buy them! Invent your own project! This is essential. We’re saving money here. We’re unemployed.

The most exciting part of my example is that despite my non-access to a sewing machine (and my limited patience) I was able to convert a size medium white Hanes men’s undershirt into a headband, necklace, and scarf (not all at once, though, you have to choose one at a time). Lucky for me, I also had some boxes of dye lying around, so I made my white into a nice brilliant yellow and navy, but you probably have some colorful thirft store shirts you can cut up, if you so choose.

What I did, was cut the shirt into “strips” (which are actually loops) by just snipping from one side of the T-shirt to the other until I got to the armpits themselves. Each one was about two inches thick and rather jagged and imperfect. I died half the loops blue and half yellow, because that’s the colors I had lying around. After they were sort-of dried (as I said, impatient), I played with the loops, until I found some fashionable looks, such as:

Headbands:

But that seemed too boring, despite all the various ways I could combine my loops. So, I tried simple necklaces:

Unarguably handsome, for a crappy white T-shirt, but I knew they could be more. I finally landed on double-looping my scraps together in chain to create a scarf or a very high-fashion necklace (we all know high-fashion is actually glamorized low-fashion, everything starts on the streetz, as they say):

Finally, I apologize that I’ve forced you to see my face and my silly PJs and my messy room and everything else that comes with crappy photos from the little lens in your mac notebook. Nonetheless, I think you have the idea and cheapness is part of the charm of Unemployment Project of the Week, isn’t it?

If you really can’t think of anything to do with the useless things you have lying around, try Craftster.org. You are bound to find something to do over there. And, if you are employed, check out these spring fashions that you can actually purchase in a real store.

1. Smart Women Read Between the Lines: A Readers’ Journal ($15, amazon.com) (CONFESSION: I think this is, like so many reader journals, unfortunately wide-ruled.)
2. How to Read Literature Like a Professor: A Lively & Entertaining Guide to Reading Between the Lines by Thomas C. Foster ($12, amazon.com) (CONFESSION: Have not read this, but have heard many good things about it, and as a proud former part English major I come pre-packaged with enthusiasm.)
3. Conceal: Invisible Bookshelf ($11, organize.com) (CONFESSION: I have posted about this before because it’s so cool! If you stack enough books, it looks like they are just floating on the wall.)
4. Bookplates from Tiny Showcase by Ray Fenwick ($5, set of 10) (CONFESSION: My friend gave me these for my Bday. PERFECT GIFT!)
5. Recycled Card Catalog Mini-Notebooks by Blue Valentine Press (set of 3, $7, Etsy)
6. Shakespeare Hates Your Emo Poetry ($15, Threadless / TypeTees)
7. Steven Colbert Natural Canvas Tote Bag ($12, Barnes & Noble) (CONFESSION: I think Tricia has this bag. It’s too funny because Colbert’s head looks just like all of the “writer head totes” they have. Also, as I noted in my Stereotyping Poets post, bookworms need tote bags.)
8. Record Bookend by ICK Design ($15, Etsy)
9. Personal Library Kit ($25, FredFlare) (CONFESSION: This makes me want to play library.)
10. Book Lists: Oprah’s Book Club List, My Penguin’s Set Post (CONFESSION: These are not shown in the image above. Ten makes a much better list than nine.)

Happy Monday. Possibly an oxymoron!

(By the way, TOMORROW: I’ll feature some art by a wonderful illustrator, and then the day after that I’ll interview him, and then the day after that he’ll tell us things he’s obsessed with. PS He recently did work for Wes Anderson. THIS IS TRUE!)

Above: stuff from 80stees.com our new advertiser.

NOTE
I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about advertising and how I want to handle it — whether I want to handle it. I’ve tried some advertising services briefly in the past, but didn’t like having so little control of the ads that would appear on my site. I only want to choose sponsors whose stuff I like and would actually buy myself. I also want to be really upfront about it, ie introduce the advertiser in a post to show you why I’ve picked them and let you know what’s going on. (more…)