So, in the spirit of truly weird holidays, my family and I have an annual Turkey Making Contest. Our turkeys are made out of not meat, but out of paper grocery bags, construction paper, and tape. (We also have one made of meat, but that comes later.)

The Rules: Partners chosen randomly out of a hat. They may be occasionally adjusted to avoid catastrophe or to avoid couples working together (because you are supposed to spend time with a family member you don’t see often). Time limit set at beginning. Usually about an hour. A brown paper or grocery bag must be used as a main part of your turkey.

The Goal: Family bonding and a creative turkey. The winner is usually humorous and looks kind of like a turkey.

The Winner: Voted upon by all turkey-makers. Cannot vote for your own.

Trash Talking: Allowed. Clean only if children present. (ie “You call that a turkey? It looks more like a stork to me.”)

Hint: Must complete contest prior to dinner or else everyone will lack motivation. Dinner is an acceptable bribe to encourage participation, ie “You can’t eat unless you participate in the Turkey Making Contest.

Over the years, we’ve had a Picasso Turkey, a Why Did the Turkey Cross the Road, a Turkey Crime Scene (turkey parts and caution tape), and a Leftovers Turkey (a turkey whose neck stuck up through the top of a sandwich).

As you can see above, there is always stiff competition and often the theme of death:

  1. Dead Turkey. Looks like this one was marked since the beginning.
  2. Sliced Turkey. Look at the creative spiral with the red-meat, balloon body!
  3. Beer Butt Turkey. A favorite recipe in our family is “Beer Butt Chicken.” Basically, you shove a can of beer up the rear-end of the chicken and cook it just like that. This is a Thanksgiving variation.
  4. Siamese Turkeys. Introducing Rob & Bob, sadly connected at the back. This guy could even stand on its own! (One of mine!)
  5. Marilyn Monroe Turkey. Maybe a disguise so she won’t be eaten? (Also one of mine!)
  6. Pork-orican Turkey. Some of my family is Puerto Rican, and they are big fans of Pork for every holiday — including Thanksgiving.
  7. Tofurkey. For the vegetarians.
  8. Grace: Thanksgiving Day [Turkey] Barbie. Look at that: she comes in a box with plastic wrap and everything! (Another of mine.)

If I asked you for your turkey ideas, my family would claim I was cheating (part of the trash-talking). But, if you happen to think of a turkey idea on your own and want to post a comment about it… it’s a free blogosphere.

PS Long weekend for S&D! See you Monday & have a great T-day!