My fashion sense might be defined by an obsession with merchandise that is “ugly / pretty.” What’s “uglypretty” you ask? Well, first of all, I bought a UNITARD this year (how impractical is that?! as many have said, to pee is a pain in the arse). So, uglypretty is when you know that by all standards of logic that something is ugly, you could probably write a paper on why it’s ugly, but you are drawn to it despite all logical reasoning. Alright, there is some logical reasoning for me, and part of it is that I’m drawn to bright colors (yum, lime green!) like a tv addict to the season premiere of LOST.
1. TIGHT TIGHTS (Celeste Stein Designs, Bamaku Pattern $19)
I am obsessed with the god-awful pattern on these tights! They are an awkwardly brilliant combination of fantastic colors and geometric designs. How yum would this be (did I just say that? god, I’ve been reading too many teen fashion magazines) with a solid yellow skirt, or, for the more uglypretty daring, a PATTERNED SKIRT.
2. MADE FROM AN EARLY 90s COUCH? (Urban Outfitters, Brushed Skirt, $48)
So, before my dentist’s office redecorated, I am almost positive that my youthful self knew that, very soon, those chairs which were upholstered in fabric JUST LIKE THIS had to go. Little did I know that I would later want a skirt made out of ALMOST THE SAME MATERIAL.
3. THIS ONE TAKES ME BACK (Disney Store, Minnie Mouse Sweatshirt for Adults, ON SALE FOR $7)
First of all, I probably had this sweater in first grade. Second of all, it is turquoise. Third of all, I love Disney. FOURTH OF ALL, I love sweatshirts (cozy loungewear for the stay-at-homer) that I feel cute in, even if it’s uglycute. I had the brief flash that I would like to be employed JUST SO I COULD PURCHASE THIS SWEATSHIRT. I LOVE IT. It doesn’t help that it’s only seven dollars… right at my fingertips…!!!
4. WHERE’S WALDO? (George Terrific, where is he sloppy joe shirt)
Okay, what’s with those really round “beads” that resemble…. Also, it’s huge. Also, GIANT STRIPES. And not just any stripes, red stripes! I think I saw these in a children’s book somewhere… And yet, I could almost guarantee that if I wore this, no one else would be wearing it. UNIQUE!
5. MMM YUMMY (Threadless, The Things I’ve Swallowed, ON SALE FOR $6)
Do you like sea food? Well, you can SEE your food everyday when you wear this colorful t-shirt full of ugly things.
6. 80s BARBIE? (American Apparel, Printed Nylon Leggings, $42)
These are so fun, a fab choice for a casual party. The little flecks of color look a little like SPRINKLES, so maybe you can wear them to a funky tea party with a kind of Alice in Wonderland theme where you have cupcakes with your tea.
Note: The fab font used in this post is Impact Label, free for download on dafont.com.
